In the barn sits santa with his christmas porridge

In the barn sits santa with his christmas porridge
so good and sweet, so good and sweet
he nods, and he smiles, and he is so glad
'cause his christmas porridge, he really wants

but around him stands all the little rat bastards!
and they're Scottish, AND THEY ARE SCOTTISH!
they really fuckin' want some christmas candy
and they're dancing, dancing 'round about